According
to the National Center for Education Statistics, “80% of students in the United
States end up changing their major at least once.” Also, “on average, college
students change their major at least three times over the course of their
college career. I thought I was a part of the 20% minority that stuck to their
initial major. In retrospect, I realize this was not the only factor that affected
my decision to come to U of I as a Chemistry major who was trying to transfer
into Chemical Engineering. Not only did I switch out of Chemistry, but I ended
up switching to General Studies, then to Economics. I imagine that other
students who change their majors go through similar experiences as it relates
to their collegiate journey.
I
am from New Jersey, so Illinois is a long way from home. I did not want to go
to college around where I grew up, because I thought that it would limit my
potential growth. I figured that I would naturally hang around people that I
was comfortable with, or were comfortable with me, so I would be distracted
from my studies. Attending a university where I would be forced to meet new
people did not help me focus, as I thought it would, but it did force me to
exit my comfort zone.
My
parents had, and still have, the ultimate power in where/if I go to college,
especially at a relatively expensive school. I had the illusion of choice,
which prompted me to, at times, strategically misrepresent my preferences. Deep
down, I had reservations regarding what major I would have. If I could go back,
I would have tried to figure out what career path I wanted, as opposed to choosing
a major based upon which subjects I excelled at in school.
Though
I did not always think about it this way, many of my decisions regarding college
were morally hazardous. I was afraid to say that I did not know what I wanted
to do; that was the truth, but I did not want to stay home for a semester. All
of my friends were going to school. My parents always expected me to go into
college the fall after I graduated from high school. I never felt like I had
much of a choice regarding my future. Also, I knew that ultimately my parents
held all of the cards, which in this case manifested as dollars, so it was
their choice; I just had to convince them that going far away aligned with
their priorities. Countless times they asked me if I was sure that Chemical Engineering
was what I wanted to do, but I could not show that I would sometimes waiver in
what major I chose. I assumed that they would have discredited my interest and made
me go to school somewhere cheaper and closer, since I was not absolutely sure.
I
thought I wanted to do Chemical Engineering, because I researched new
technologies in my spare time and I wanted to bring new tech into the
classroom, sports, and day to day life. Also, I wanted to make a lot of money,
and I knew that STEM fields would get me that. I didn’t think that my parents
would be okay with me not choosing a major outside of STEM, presumably because
they wanted me to be financially well off. U of I has a renowned Chemical Science
program and it was far away, which aligned with my interests.
My father works in IT, and he has a lot of passion for
what he does, so I figured computer science would be interesting to everyone.
Also, I just really did not want to transfer. I did not do well after my first
year, and I grew to hate the way Chemistry was taught, so I decided to follow
in my father’s footsteps in the Fall of my Sophomore year. Correspondingly, I
transferred into LAS-General Studies so I did not have to pay the extra fees
that Chemistry majors do. I would still be able to get what I want in going to
school out of state, but also my parents approved of U of I’s STEM programs, so
I had their blessing. After taking only one CS class, I learned that it was not
for me, and that my happiness was most important in my career. I didn’t want to
hate my life, even if it meant sacrificing future income.
The second semester of my sophomore, I had chosen
Economics instead, because I could finish the major in 5 semesters, and I
figured I could still be on the cutting edge of technology, even if it was in a
different way. I didn’t know that much about the major, aside from 103 which I
thoroughly enjoyed; it was a leap of faith. If I could go back, I would have
coupled Econ with English or Political Science. It’s never too late to educate
oneself, but I have a 4-year deadline to graduate.
Even
though I did better and better academically each semester, I found myself
having to prove that I was where I needed to be in my life. I cannot quite
explain this intuition, in order to follow my hunch, I had to pander toward my parents’
interests to convince them that this was right for me. There was no way they
would accept my “intuition,” which led to me never telling the truth about why
I wanted to stay at U of I.
** ** ** ** **
In this post, I wanted to work on telling a story that
could be understood by other people. The point I was trying to get across is
that sometimes it seems natural to misrepresent reality for what we want. I
think I may have failed to connect the passages directly to the course.
The writing is somewhat better here. It still could be clearer. Let me illustrate with some questions and some suggestions.
ReplyDeletePart of what is difficult for me reading this is to understand what you actually talked out with your parents versus what you assumed would be their reaction if you did have such a conversation. In fact, you've been an economics major for a while and your parents have continued to pay your tuition, correct? How did that come about? Did your parents give you a hard time about studying economics? Or have they accepted that choice?
Frankly, as a parent who is college educated, my guess is that just about any other similarly situated parent would want their kid to get a college degree. Choice of major might matter, but getting the degree would be the main thing. They'd also want the kid to be able to express some preference.
I understand that is more complicated in your case by the in-state/out-of-state choice and the significant tuition differential your family has ended up paying. If you weren't going to study chemical engineering, then the university reputations might not justify paying the tuition differential.
But there might be other reasons for not transferring back to a school in New Jersey, quite apart from the courses and the reputation of the department where you have your major. A lot of this is about peers and community and whether those outside of courses interactions with fellow students is nurturing and valuable. There's been a lot of research on the value of college and much of it says that is where the real value lies. So I wonder if you've done some informal assessment of that and if so you communicated that to your parents.
Your last paragraph before the stars seems critical and yet I didn't understand what you said. You went back into the mode where you didn't give the reader enough information to make sense of what actually happened. What does it mean to pander to your parents interests? Do they think you are still studying chemical engineering? Or do they know about the economics? This seems like a very important paragraph, but it was totally unclear to me. I encourage you to rewrite it in response to this comment, so I can understand what is actually going on.
It also seems to me that you need some advisor on campus to talk about these issues and if not somebody who works for the U of I then certainly some of your peers with whom you can have an open conversation. When an issue ways heavily on you airing it is a healthful thing to do.
My parents never gave me flack for being an Economics major, but I think they would have if I would have chosen the major earlier in my college career. They seemed less strict upon what I graduated with and more focused on graduating. Before enrolling in college, I had the pressure of making more money than they did, but before my junior year they apologized for putting that pressure on me.
ReplyDeleteMy parents know that I changed my major. That would be an awkward May if I did not. However when I decided to change majors, I did not say that I was choosing Economics because it was safe. I did not know exactly what an Economist did, nor did I know what I wanted to do as an Economist, but I researched buzzwords like Investment Banking and Stock Brokering as career paths that I wanted to follow. This was the short informal assessment that I had made.
My parents never gave me flack for being an Economics major, but I think they would have if I would have chosen the major earlier in my college career. They seemed less strict upon what I graduated with and more focused on graduating. Before enrolling in college, I had the pressure of making more money than they did, but before my junior year they apologized for putting that pressure on me.
ReplyDeleteMy parents know that I changed my major. That would be an awkward May if I did not. However when I decided to change majors, I did not say that I was choosing Economics because it was safe. I did not know exactly what an Economist did, nor did I know what I wanted to do as an Economist, but I researched buzzwords like Investment Banking and Stock Brokering as career paths that I wanted to follow. This was the short informal assessment that I had made.
I think this post answered my question about one of your previous posts, I now understand why you changed from Chemistry to General Studies and then to Economics. The confusion I still have here is that you said happiness is the most important factor for your career, and you also mentioned that you want to make a lot of money. The career path you motioned that you wanted to follow seems like Finance career path (Investment Banking/Stock Brokering), do you gain happiness through these careers, or is it because they are well paid, or both? I think it is very difficult to know whether you will be happy with something or not unless you've tried it, and it’s better to experience once than a hundred times of research/hearing from other people. I learned that when I was doing my first major, and also throughout my internships. I don’t know if the start-up internship you mentioned in your previous post helped you learn about the investment industry and confirmed your decision?
ReplyDelete